Monday, December 9, 2013

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"I am here. All yours. In this moment. With no past, and an unknown future. I am here, with you, right now."

"Yes....", I had no clue where this was going.

"You, the keeper of my soul", she was looking straight into me now with her sharp, honest, and gullible eyes.


"Will you marry me?"


My heart stopped for an eternity. 


I realized: my desire to own her, was no longer awake.

Suddenly, this was not an animal game anymore.

She was not a prey. And I was no longer a predator.

She was getting into me - through my eyes. 

She could see me. She could feel me. 

Knowing nothing about my fights, my love, my crusades, she was there - asking me an honest question.

She knew I couldn't say no.

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"I started taking smaller steps; steps to match hers. Perhaps trying to slow time down, and ease things on her tiny feet that were on this Earth somewhere, now getting tired trying to get home."

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Her cheeks were salty. I could tell she had been crying, and letting the tears dry. 

Why? And for how long? I did not care. 

I kissed her again. 

The same cheek she would not let her daddy touch before - with the 'I don't like your beard' excuse - was now getting soaked in my smooches. 

"Let's go home, sweetheart", I whispered.

But she did not move. Her eyes were locked somewhere far on the plains. 

"What's wrong, baby? Let's go home. It's daddy..."

"I can't... I am sorry.".

She kissed my forehead, freed herself from my grip, and started to walk away.

"No. Not again. I cannot. How can I let you walk away?"

After all this, after all the pains, fights, bruises, crusades - how can I just let you walk away? 

But she kept walking - her shadow was slowly becoming one with her self.

Should I really set her free, and free myself too of the fear - the fear of missing her, forever?

Is that what my love for her is leaving me with?

I felt dizzy, and fell on my knees. My sunshine was now a tiny dot on the horizon.

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